And you may ask yourself, “Well… how did I get here?”
This weekend is associated with no particular holiday or milestone and yet — thanks to the munificence of Space Emperor Xerxes XIV, whose every howl is like music to his subjects — it is quite possibly the biggest discount weekend of the year so far.
King George was mightily displeased when he learned of Jeff Goldblum’s treachery.
Two-hundred and thirty-eight years ago yesterday, George Washington and Jeff Goldblum piloted a captured Montgolfier balloon onto the British mothership and uploaded a computer virus which disabled the King’s legions of freedom-hating Sentinel robots, providing an opening for General Lynyrd Skynyrd to lead the Continental Army to a decisive victory over the royalist forces led by Rowan Atkinson.
It is in honour of that historic act of black hat sneaker-net hacking that we celebrate the 4th of July by downloading discounted iPhone games. After the jump, let the celebrations begin.
[UPDATE, Sunday the 6th: King of Dragon Pass is on sale, too. If you're into games and you haven't played King of Dragon Pass, that's like calling yourself a movie buff having never seen a Kurosawa film. You need to play KoDP, and it only goes on sale once or twice a year, so carpe diem. It's usually ten dollars, but it's discounted to eight until Sunday night.]
Between Desert Fox: The Battle of El Alamein and World of Tanks Blitz, this was one hell of a release week– but what if you’re just sick to death of World War II? I’m not. At all. I’m happy to keep fighting World War II until a time traveller kills Hitler and erases it from our timeline.
But I completely sympathise with you if you’re over it. How many times have you charged up the beach at Normandy? How many times have you invaded Poland? I have an astonishingly good grasp of that country’s geography as a result. Need directions from Poznan to Warsaw? I’m your dude, and I’ve never even been to Poland in real life. That’s kinda weird.
So after the jump, lots of interesting games that are on discount right now — and not a single Garand or Fallschirmjaeger amongst them.
Well somebody sacrificed an animal to the right deity this weekend (it wasn’t me, unless you count the dry, brillo-like chicken I overcooked for dinner yesterday) because this weekend’s price drops are a standout bunch that can be recommended almost entirely without reservation.
Before we get to the games, let me just apologise to anyone and everyone who had trouble reaching Pocket Tactics over the last 48 hours. We were changing hosts, which is a stressful affair in the best of circumstances and I have come out the other side of the process having made a Gandalf-like transition into premature greying. Everything’s sorted now though — thanks very much for bearing with us.
I’ve been about halfway done with a review of it for about a week now, but I’ll spoil that now and tell you that Bridge Constructor Medieval is absolutely the best thing going from all the sales on this weekend.
I had a complicated relationship with its predecessor Bridge Constructor, an experience that often felt like a coldly administered IQ test. Like the old version, Bridge Constructor Medieval teaches you almost nothing about physics and engineering and then expects you to rediscover millennia-old principles of bridge-building on your own, a condescending attitude towards the player that I find weirdly appealing. Although Medieval adds little in the way of tutorials, it does expand greatly on the available objectives for each bridge-building challenge — including some “trap” levels where your goal is to make an apparently stable bridge that collapses once a certain number of people are on it. Clever stuff. It’s a delightful game and I highly recommend it.
Trailers and details about this weekend’s price drops after the jump.
I think the first thing I ever bought with my own money was a careworn VHS copy of Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla, purchased from a flea market stall with a fistful of meticulously counted and rolled coins. My love for Godzilla runs deep, but not even I was holding out much hope for Godzilla: Smash3, which was announced in March. It’s a movie tie-in game, after all, a category whose reputation for quality lies somewhere between prison food and New Jersey wines.
Plot twist: Godzilla: Smash3, released just yesterday, is pretty damned enjoyable. It’s actually the best Dungeon Raid clone I’ve played since Wargames: WOPR, and it might even be a little better than that oft-overlooked gem. I’m sorry to report that unlike Wargames, it’s free-to-play, but the freemium mechanics are unobtrusive and fade into the background quickly whilst you occupy yourself with stomping Tokyo flat and cattily swatting Harriers out of the sky. Good stuff.
Warhammer Quest from Rodeo Games is a favorite here at Pocket Tactics with one minor drawback: it’s simply loaded with IAP. Now, it’s not the crappy RollerCoaster Tycoon kind of IAP, no, Warhammer Quest has IAP in which you actually buy something, and get something for your money. It’s not consumable garbage. That said, to get the myriad of heroes, weapons, and new areas that Rodeo has released since Warhammer Quest was unleashed would cost you a pretty penny.
That’s right, every weapon, hero and expansion is currently on sale for $1/each, and only for the next 48 hours. Now’s your chance to be like all the cool kids and load up on heroes, tilesets, and whatever else you want (and you want everything, admit it).
For those wondering what the hell we’re talking about, go and check out the base game for iOS Universal at the cost of $5.
Oh, and go watch the trailer. It’s after the break.