New Releases: Stop, You're Going the Wrong Way! Edition29 Jul 2016 6
This week’s new releases come crashing through the hedgerows, trekking down forgotten roads from antiquity, and invading from galaxies long ago and across strange aeons, with the space police, atomic monsters, and the wrath of the elements following after.
Heroes of Normandie
Heroes of Normandie is a cigar-chompin’ commando-howlin’ recently-liberated burgandy-swilling all the live-longest day fightin’ tactical turn-based card layin’ four color ballad of a wargame. Alex loved it, and if you’re not too much of a stickler for historical accuracy, you probably will too. Just mind the hedgerows, they're centuries old… the hedgerows… oh, nevermind.
Heroes of Normandie is an iOS exclusive. 'Scuse me while I cry into my brie.
Road Not Taken
Spry Fox’s latest puzzler is, to the best of my knowledge, the first game to draw equal inspiration from the poetry of Robert Frost and the Jawas of Tatooine. It’s just as pretty as their previous releases, albeit less saccharine, and their first premium pay-once title.
The Quest HD
The Quest is an app store classic, a RPG in the vein of the VGA-era Wizardry and Might & Magic games and, until now, VGA-era graphics. The “HD” suffix has never been more warranted than it is here, as this game is prettier than my pretty floral bonnet. Check out the wrinkles on that cyclops’s knee!
The Quest is still iOS only, though I suppose you could get the Steam version and stream it to your device.
Young warrior Sacha has lost her family - and her arm. No problem, she saw Army of Darkness and, lacking a chainsaw, she’ll literally disarm her foes and turn their limbs against them. She also eats bits of their brains or something? This Infinity Blade-esque ARPG is twitchier than our usual fare, but I have a weakness for fantasy metal iZombie-meets-Parasyte homages, so...
She Eats Brains Severed is out on iOS. Maybe Drinkbox will regurgitate an Android version later.
Lego Star Wars: The Force Awakens
A long time ago in a galaxy far away, the franchise-saving exploits of Rey, Fin and minifig dreamboat Poe Dameron landed on iOS. Now, Android users can scavenge through the deserts of not-Tatooine, face Kylo Ren's anger-management issues, fail to save Han Solo, and torch Supreme Leader Snooki’s Starkiller base.
Star Nomad 2
Buying low, selling high, collecting bounties on pirates, maybe engaging in a little piracy (or a lot of piracy) on the side, it's just another day in the life of a Star Nomad. This 2d top-down open-world space opera added Android to it's tally sheet this week, and promises epic fleet battles, three-sided political tensions, and competent AI for the other ships in your squadron
In Spaceheist, you're part of a gang of space pirates who have recently made off with some serious space loot and are now on the run with the space police hot on your tail. You'll need help to make your space getaway in this local multiplayer game that attempts to carve out a compromise between the focused intensity of Artemis Spaceship Bridge Simulator and the manic chaos of Spaceteam.
Spaceheist is an Android exclusive (what!?!) on the shareware model.
Deity: Elementals is a cross-platform multiplayer strategy game that takes a page from Atlas Reactor's snappy gameplay. In Deity: Elementals you have to take your turn in five seconds or less. That sounds interesting, but Deity is Free-To-Play, which doesn't necessarily mean that it's pay-to-win, but it doesn't mean that it isn't.
Legends of Heropolis
We wrote about Kairosoft’s new FTP city-building, kaiju-fighting, distinctly Power Rangers-like sim Legends of Heliopolis last week, when it was Android-only.
The giant robots and IAP are unchanged, but now you can find them on iOS as well.
This is just another mindless idle clicker game with the inevitable FTP monetization. It really doesn't belong here, but it's the only game out this week that lets you raise Cthulhu from a cute widdle baby to stars-are-right right now works-ending status. It's boring and doesn't even keep ticking up in the background but… hey look, a Shoggoth with glasses! A zombie in spats! Sanity crumbling… help...