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New Switch game is Boyfriend Dungeon but with household appliances

Date Everything! No, really, this life sim actually lets you date everything, and the kitchen sink... And the wall… And clothes hangers…

Cabrizzio character from date everything! game

Is the task of getting to know other human beings just too much? Is the thought of yet another ‘talking stage’ making you want to uninstall every dating app in your phone? We’ve all been there. But that’s where Date Everything! can help you to fill the void because this brand-new sandbox dating simulator lets you bypass the need for human interaction and date… Well, everything else, instead.

Developer Team17, responsible for a little franchise you might have heard of called Worms, has partnered with LA-based developer Sassy Chap Games to create Date Everything!, a dating sim that takes you on a whirlwind adventure into a world where inanimate objects become genuine romantic possibilities. Whoever said love had to be limited to flesh and blood? You want to date the air? Go for it, we hear it’s a breeze. We’re already saving a spot on our list of best dating games for this one, because who doesn’t want to chat up your refrigerator when you’re hunting for a midnight snack?

With 100 fully voiced and dateable characters to fall for, and dialogue branches that can lead to multiple different endings, Date Everything! is a fully interactive world that is molded and changed based on the choices you make throughout each playthrough. With some big names on the voice-acting roster, including Felicia Day of the TV show Supernatural fame and Robbie Daymond from Critical Role, this simulator game contains 1.2 million words and 70k voice lines paired with beautiful, hand-drawn imagery and characters.

Pop your ‘Dateviator’ glasses on – whether they’re rose-tinted or not remains to be seen – and take a glance at the once lifeless objects around your home that are looking for love. Each dateable object, whether it’s your overflowing laundry basket or the vacuum cleaner – no comment – has three different relationship outcomes. You’ll be able to earn their love, forge a strong friendship, or make them hate you, depending on how your relationship goes.

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Date Everything! also has a narrative path that ties this wealth of content together, plus it caters to such a wide array of romantic preferences and tastes that there really is something for everyone. “It has been such an amazing journey to bring this audacious dream into reality – we threw everything at this game and the kitchen sink!” said Ray Chase, lead designer and voice actor for The Wall. “We’ve gotten to know these wonderfully unique characters for such a long time, and couldn’t be more excited to introduce you to a hundred or so of our friends.”

Your new favorite dating simulator is due to be released on the Nintendo Switch, as well as all other consoles and PC, and you can sign up to the Date Everything! mailing list to get all the latest information. While we practice our best chat-up lines in the mirror, be sure to check out our picks for the best sandbox games to play, and if you’re feeling the love, we have a list of the best dating apps, so you can use your flirting skills on actual people, too. If you want to, but personally, we’re looking forward to wooing the door. They seem pretty willing to open up.