You died. Those two little words plague millions of people worldwide courtesy of the Dark Souls videogame series. However, despite it being a trilogy, there’s only one of these titles on Switch, and to me, this is outrageous. If Switch fans are to truly understand the suffering one goes through as a SoulsBorne fan, they must journey through Drangleic, a once majestic kingdom that’s fallen to a curse.
I think I speak for all Dark Souls fans when I say that Dark Souls 2 is the worst one, and that’s precisely why it should be on Switch. No, it’s not because I think those that enjoy Nintendo’s console deserve unending suffering (though I can’t deny that might be part of it), but more because people beat the first game and then assume they know everything that the series has to offer. Well, I’m here to say you don’t. You think BlightTown, the catacombs, and Tomb of the Giants are bad? You haven’t seen anything yet.
Before I go any further, I have to say I do actually like Dark Souls 2 and consider it to be a very good title, it just so happens to be the weakest of the SoulsBorne games, but that doesn’t detract from the fact that it deserves its time in the sun on Switch. In fact, the title is the perfect fit for the platform. From a technical standpoint, it’s not too different to that of its predecessor, so you know the port would be solid. Not only that but considering the fact it’s a guaranteed money maker, Bandai and FromSoft’s decision not to put it on Nintendo’s console is quite baffling.
Yes, I could go into further detail and perhaps run a little analysis on why Dark Souls 2 should be on Switch from those standpoints as well as to the benefit of fans, just like I did with my calls for Mass Effect on Switch and Dragon Age on Switch, but I want to do something a little different here. I want to go into why Dark Souls 2 should be on Nintendo Switch from a ‘let’s all suffer together’ standpoint.
Besides the obvious of having just one game from a trilogy available being somewhat redundant, Dark Souls 2 serves as a right of passage for Souls fans. You quite literally go to hell and back in this game. Plus, you just might find an all new appreciation for the aforementioned areas in the first game after you delve into The Gutter, Black Gulch, and Harvest Valley.
Then, of course, there’s the abundance of bosses that Switch players are yet to experience, and honestly, for better or worse, all Souls fans should tackle those foes in DS2, even if it’s just to garner a new appreciation for the bosses from the other games. You all joke about Pinwheel? Well, I invite you to fight Jabba the Hutt’s cousin, the Covetous Demon – this flabby fool is about as threatening as a tub of wet lettuce.
Then there’s Mytha, the Baneful Queen. She’s like a poisonous poor man’s version of Medusa, and she caps off one of the most annoying areas in the entire game, Earthen Peak. Not only that, but there’s a gimmick to this boss fight that all Souls fans must suffer through, and that includes those of you that enjoy DS on Switch. You need to feel the pain of walking into an area where you can’t even see your feet, thanks to the pool of poison. Sure, there’s a way to work around this, but I shan’t tell you how because we should share the suffering.
Oh, and there’s no way I can’t mention the Old Iron King and how I honestly think he should be allowed to shove Switch players into his hole. Yes, his tiny hole that you somehow wind up in, no matter how much you try to avoid it. This is kind of like an initiation for Dark Souls fans, and I think it’s a little unfair that Switch players can’t quite fathom what it’s like to be in the small, fiery hole of death.
Quite honestly, I could make a case for why all you Switch players out there should suffer through the majority of these ghastly bosses, but I’d be here all day, so I’m only going to mention a couple more that serve as a means for you to pay your due diligence to be a true Souls veteran. One of which is the Duke’s Dear Freja. This giant arachnid is a horrifying boss that we must all endure.
You see, I don’t mention her for the sheer ridiculousness of her boss fight. Rather I think it’s worth discussing that whether or not you have arachnophobia, entering Freja’s domain in Brightstone Cove Tseldora is sure to be a heartstopper, and no, it’s not for the same reason as Quelaag. You see, the chaos witch in Dark Souls has me thinking, ‘yeah, I can work with that’, whereas The Duke’s Dear Freja is a full-blown spider, so it left me screaming ‘not today, Satan’ as I proceeded to try and run out of the fog gate. This is a suffering we really need to share as a community. The whole ‘ack, kill it with fire’ thing is a real bonding experience.
The final boss I want to give a brief mention to when it comes to why Dark Souls 2 should be available to Switch players is the Old Dragonslayer, and no, it’s not because this is a ridiculous boss that makes you suffer through its sheer audacity to exist, but because it ruins the image of a beloved boss. Ornstein is a legend and is one-half of what many consider to be the hardest boss in DS1 as well as one of the toughest across the entire Soulsborne series, yet the Old Dragonslayer is a carbon copy that demystifies Ornstein’s legend. You get to discover how much of a pushover the legendary knight is, and Switch players should also have the pedestal on which they place him shatter – it’s only fair.
Bosses are the true essence when it comes to the SoulsBorne series, and if I’m being serious for a moment, there are some truly admirable boss fights that deserve to be on the small screen of the hybrid console. Darklurker is one of the hardest bosses in the entire series, as is Fume Knight, while Sir Alonne is arguably a top ten encounter, yet not enough people can partake in the elegant dance that occurs between two legendary, honourable, and respectable warriors.
This leads me along nicely to the fact that Dark Souls 2’s DLC is also actually pretty good, so if Bandai Namco and From Software were to answer my calls for the game to be on Nintendo Switch, I must insist that it be a port of the Scholar of the First Sin Edition so that those that submit themselves to this punishing experience can at least have some fun with two of the expansions – Crown of the Ivory King and Crown of the Iron King.
Not the poisonous cesspit that is the Sanctum City in the Crown of the Sunken King DLC. That hellhole is what you all must go through before we can argue for the much better Dark Souls 3 to be on Nintendo Switch. So, rise up those of you that bear the curse and take one for the team. Please. I really want to make a case for DS3. I hear Irithyll of the Boreal Valley is lovely this time of year.
So you see, there’s much suffering to be had, and I honestly don’t think it’s fair that Switch players can’t experience the many flaws that encompass a surprisingly enjoyable game. So go on Bandai and FromSoft, give the people what they want, let Switch players fight Jabba’s cousin, ruin their image of a legendary knight, and turn them all into Ron Weasley’s as they follow the spiders.