In April 2014 Coffee Stain Studios introduced us to Goat Simulator, a ridiculous open-ended third-person action game in which you control, you guessed it, a goat. The aim here is to explore the world and cause as much chaos as possible. Seriously, that’s it. There’s no overarching story, no big mission to complete, and you know what, I’m content with that, as are millions of other players worldwide.
Luckily for those of us who enjoy mindless carnage, Coffee Stain released Goat Simulator 3 on PC, Xbox Series X/S, and PlayStation 5 in November 2022. Yeah, that’s great, but what about those of us who want to be a goat on the go? Well, that’s where Goat Simulator 3 Mobile comes in, and at Gamescom 2023, I had the pleasure of sitting down with the developers for half an hour to partake in the portable mayhem.
Straight out of the gate I knew I was in for a crazy time. It kicked off with me on a farm, so the natural thing to do was break through the fence to claim my freedom, and then destroy all the other fences in a bid to ensure no one would ever contain me again. Soon I was joined by the good folks at Coffee Stain Malmo for some jolly cooperation, because two goats wreaking havoc is better than one.
Before I got to explore the world, we took part in a mini-game where you need to knock your opponent off the top of a giant haystack, and the longer you stand tall at the top, the more points you get. Honestly, this perfectly demonstrates how good the ragdoll physics are, as I admittedly found myself to be the one flying and falling. These physics would have Newton questioning whether that apple really hit him on the head.
After a bit of competitive fun, it was time to gallivant down the road and away from the farm. Oh boy, there’s an entire urban area and a city to explore, though I quickly learned my goat can’t swim, which is a real shame since I’d like to row, row, row my goat gently down the stream. Still, my brief time exploring the game didn’t just involve me falling in rivers, wreaking havoc, and playing mini-games, I could also customize my goat.
Putting some clothes on your goat isn’t just to make it look as silly as possible (though I can’t deny it’s a highlight); it’s so that you can use various powers. During my brief stint with Goat Simulator 3 Mobile, I was able to shoot lightning out of my goat’s eyes. No, I’m not joking, it feels as though you’re the farm animal version of Thor, and I’m here for it.
As for how the game runs, things went smoothly during my time with the game, and the controls work well, with buttons on the right side of the screen and the analog stick on the left side, ensuring it’s comfortable to play. The multiplayer is a lot of fun, and you do have some freedom to explore without your pal stuck by your side, though if you get too far apart, the game pulls you back together. This shouldn’t impact your experience, however, as the distance between you can have in between you is quite generous.
So far Goat Simulator 3 Mobile is shaping up to be a lot of fun, and given I’m quite chaotic by nature, it’ll be nice to have this game with me everywhere I go. If I need a break from everyday life, the goat is there to look me in the eyes and say ‘Come on, Kayleigh, let’s go tear this up.’ If you like wreaking havoc, are already a Goat Simulator fan, or just like goats, this is a game to keep an eye on.