If you’re anything like us, you probably spend a significant amount of time daydreaming (or, actually dreaming) about a world where Pokémon exist for real. The world of the Pokémon games and series is warm, inviting, and safe, set in varied lush environments filled with fascinating and magical creatures who can become your best friends. What’s not to love?
While we’ve been pining for this in our imaginations for years, the movie Detective Pikachu does a perfect job of actualizing this dream, showing a live-action world where Pokémon and humans peacefully coexist. Having played the Pokémon games in order endlessly, this looks exactly like it should. In other words, a perfect fantasy. But that isn’t how Pokémon fans on Reddit are describing the notion of Pokémon IRL. In fact, the internet seems to overwhelmingly agree that a world full of Pokémon would be a nightmarish hellscape.
User friscoflip generated the discussion by asking the question: “What Pokémon would be the most annoying in real life?” Naturally, this provoked a flood of pessimistic answers, and now we’re so sure we’d like to try and complete a Pokdéx for real.
“Ghost Pokémon in general,” said one commenter. “Like, imagine Drifloon taking kids away or Mimikyu causing death if you look under it. Menace to society.” Continuing on the theme of mortal danger, another said, “lots of electric types steal electricity from houses and stuff. You can’t shoo away a Pikachu like a regular mouse; it can hurt you with the electricity it siphoned from your own house!” Speaking of houses, another user chipped in by asking us to imagine the inconvenience if: “a hive of Beedrills [took] over your garage.”
Then, there were the more mundane complaints, things like noise and irritation. “Can you imagine having a neighbor with [a Spoink]?? You’re trying to sleep, and they’re just springing non-stop all night.” Noise complaints wouldn’t just be limited to Spoink, though, as another user pointed out: “Loudred and Exploud would be miserable to be around as well.”
The rest of the Reddit thread is full of similarly dour suggestions for what it would look like in reality and, to be honest, it might be time to reassess our lifelong dreams of living in a Poké-world, and becoming a trainer. Professor Oak, if you’re reading this, you can keep your damned Pokéballs.